Comments for Dear Deviant http://deardeviant.com/blog Advice column on love & life and everything in between. Thu, 08 Apr 2010 20:30:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by priss http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-145 priss Thu, 08 Apr 2010 20:30:41 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-145 i know this was from a while back.. but i had to comment. D: right on the money. *swish* .. all net. shame on him for even going (he should have at least met up w/ her, taking separate cars). shame on her for asking a married man. definitely red flag.. ez bake homewrecker alert! start running the other way, head for the hills, immedialtely! the universal girl/guy code everyone knows it, but it's like any rule.. everyone tries to bend it or find that loop hole. bottom line: don't do anything you wouldn't want your honey to do and if you have to question yourself or ask, it's probably a good idea to steer clear of the trouble ahead and play it safe. Better safe than SORRY! i know this was from a while back.. but i had to comment.

D: right on the money. *swish* .. all net.

shame on him for even going (he should have at least met up w/ her, taking separate cars). shame on her for asking a married man. definitely red flag.. ez bake homewrecker alert! start running the other way, head for the hills, immedialtely!

the universal girl/guy code everyone knows it, but it’s like any rule.. everyone tries to bend it or find that loop hole.

bottom line: don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your honey to do and if you have to question yourself or ask, it’s probably a good idea to steer clear of the trouble ahead and play it safe. Better safe than SORRY!

]]> Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by Friday's Girl http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-34 Friday's Girl Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:21:34 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-34 NO! It shall not end this way! Both sides must put their guards down. Yes. I have no earthly idea how that is going to happen, but keep praying. But, the point here is this: that heffa aint yo wife. You can not assume that she has you or your wife's best interest at heart. You don't know her mind because you have not established that bond. Nobody wants to be played and any woman running around having drinks with a married man without even thinking about what's up with the wife must be relegated to the sneaky heffa ranks until proven otherwise. . .and (since it caused some rift) she played you and your wife. You let her. It's not that big of a deal. You seem sincere. It's over. She MAY have meant no harm (maybe not). Blahzay blah, but you have to accept the fact that you live on earth. People are full of sh**. A woman wants a man and the standard these days is "gone girl, take you one!" Don't do things to let your wife even entertain the idea that you would let somebody mess with what yall got. Side Note: I am not a woman-hating woman. I love sisterhood and I need to stop calling office hussy such names (whatever!). But I do reside on planet earth and earthlings can be stank! Watch your back and let your guard down with your one. . .and give her that same opportunity. NO! It shall not end this way! Both sides must put their guards down. Yes. I have no earthly idea how that is going to happen, but keep praying.
But, the point here is this: that heffa aint yo wife. You can not assume that she has you or your wife’s best interest at heart. You don’t know her mind because you have not established that bond. Nobody wants to be played and any woman running around having drinks with a married man without even thinking about what’s up with the wife must be relegated to the sneaky heffa ranks until proven otherwise. . .and (since it caused some rift) she played you and your wife. You let her. It’s not that big of a deal. You seem sincere. It’s over. She MAY have meant no harm (maybe not). Blahzay blah, but you have to accept the fact that you live on earth. People are full of sh**. A woman wants a man and the standard these days is “gone girl, take you one!” Don’t do things to let your wife even entertain the idea that you would let somebody mess with what yall got.
Side Note: I am not a woman-hating woman. I love sisterhood and I need to stop calling office hussy such names (whatever!). But I do reside on planet earth and earthlings can be stank! Watch your back and let your guard down with your one. . .and give her that same opportunity.

]]> Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by Deviant http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-33 Deviant Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:17:13 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-33 2RAW, I only just saw that you had replied. I really see both sides of this argument. Also, I think it is quite telling that the women believed you to be opening up a door to creeping while I can see your point that there is trust, so what's the big deal. I think the problem is that so many men (people) establish an image of trust when there were ulterior motives all along. I also think women experience this three-fold as many times as men, so out here in this wilderness of romance, they have to keep their guard up. I just hope that for both women and men, in efforts to build supporting, trusting, and loving relationships, that both sides can at some point let their guard down. New Dear Deviant next week. toodles. 2RAW,

I only just saw that you had replied.
I really see both sides of this argument. Also, I think it is quite telling that the women believed you to be opening up a door to creeping while I can see your point that there is trust, so what’s the big deal.
I think the problem is that so many men (people) establish an image of trust when there were ulterior motives all along. I also think women experience this three-fold as many times as men, so out here in this wilderness of romance, they have to keep their guard up. I just hope that for both women and men, in efforts to build supporting, trusting, and loving relationships, that both sides can at some point let their guard down.

New Dear Deviant next week. toodles.

]]> Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by The real 2Raw http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-30 The real 2Raw Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:47:54 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-30 While my man D did a great job articulating what went down and in retro spec I see that I did f*ck up. But the fuck up was not in the fact that I was willing to help a co-worker, but the fact that when plans changed I should have let wifey know. I should have called and said “ hey plans blew up my friend offered to buy me a drink for my trouble do you want us to come and pick you up. “ see what I did there not only did I tell her my new plans but invited her to come along so she can know there are no ill motives. I will say that it is a sad sad sad world we live in when a dude can’t do anything for a lady without his or her motives being questioned. If roles were reversed I wouldn’t have had an issue because I have mad trust in wifey. To me I would not see the point in marrying someone if you didn’t give that kind of trust? But that’s I how I think and it’s unfair to believe that wifey would think the same as I. I only got one last thing to say. Women, not every dude is looking to step out on you and if you have that constant fear/feeling/belief then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your situation because you’re selling yourself short. There are honest good dudes out there, we may do some dumb things and f*ck up from time to time but we still can be trusted. While my man D did a great job articulating what went down and in retro spec I see that I did f*ck up. But the fuck up was not in the fact that I was willing to help a co-worker, but the fact that when plans changed I should have let wifey know. I should have called and said “ hey plans blew up my friend offered to buy me a drink for my trouble do you want us to come and pick you up. “ see what I did there not only did I tell her my new plans but invited her to come along so she can know there are no ill motives. I will say that it is a sad sad sad world we live in when a dude can’t do anything for a lady without his or her motives being questioned. If roles were reversed I wouldn’t have had an issue because I have mad trust in wifey. To me I would not see the point in marrying someone if you didn’t give that kind of trust? But that’s I how I think and it’s unfair to believe that wifey would think the same as I. I only got one last thing to say. Women, not every dude is looking to step out on you and if you have that constant fear/feeling/belief then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your situation because you’re selling yourself short. There are honest good dudes out there, we may do some dumb things and f*ck up from time to time but we still can be trusted.

]]> Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by Friday's Girl http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-27 Friday's Girl Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:54:00 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-27 The general rule as I've been taught (or had it verbally pounded into my head) is that men are predators by nature and women are nurturing by nature so if a women is not properly schooled to the game a man can always get over, at least temporarily. The un-documented yet well known flip side, that Anthony Anderson put so well, is that "the CIA aint got sh*t on a woman with a plan!" Now even if office hussy did not have a "plan", it is a possibility. If that office hussy wanted to move in on Mrs. 2RAW's man Mr. 2RAW has made is pretty clear that he will stand by and let it happen. I'm sure 2RAW wants us to clap it up for him because he was so kind and good and decent for accompanying this hussy just to make sure she wasn't murdered. Bravo. But priority number one is your wife. She has to feel secure and its not a good feeling to think that your man--no, your HUSBAND is going to be running around helping damsels in distress over beer. The bottom line is you probably wont get why she is so mad (until God-forbid it happens to you--and maybe not even then) but if her dealings with other men makes you uncomfortable she would (hopefully) stop the dealings and make amends. Same goes for you. Gucci works best. The general rule as I’ve been taught (or had it verbally pounded into my head) is that men are predators by nature and women are nurturing by nature so if a women is not properly schooled to the game a man can always get over, at least temporarily. The un-documented yet well known flip side, that Anthony Anderson put so well, is that “the CIA aint got sh*t on a woman with a plan!”
Now even if office hussy did not have a “plan”, it is a possibility. If that office hussy wanted to move in on Mrs. 2RAW’s man Mr. 2RAW has made is pretty clear that he will stand by and let it happen.
I’m sure 2RAW wants us to clap it up for him because he was so kind and good and decent for accompanying this hussy just to make sure she wasn’t murdered. Bravo. But priority number one is your wife. She has to feel secure and its not a good feeling to think that your man–no, your HUSBAND is going to be running around helping damsels in distress over beer.
The bottom line is you probably wont get why she is so mad (until God-forbid it happens to you–and maybe not even then) but if her dealings with other men makes you uncomfortable she would (hopefully) stop the dealings and make amends. Same goes for you. Gucci works best.

]]> Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by Deviant http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-26 Deviant Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:44:28 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-26 The PLSW reference was just for you. I don't know. Sure men + everyone else love attention. He may have just been trying to be helpful. And if he's worked with her for years, we can't say if her new found horniness even exists. I wouldn't go buy something from a stranger off Craigslist by myself. That bike might have bodies on it. This is one of the rare posts where I know some back story. If he was trying to, he could have been got it in with this co-worker or any others years back. I doubt he has. I'd sooner file this one as Good Guys Go Dumb before I put it in the infidelity files. The PLSW reference was just for you.

I don’t know. Sure men + everyone else love attention. He may have just been trying to be helpful. And if he’s worked with her for years, we can’t say if her new found horniness even exists. I wouldn’t go buy something from a stranger off Craigslist by myself. That bike might have bodies on it.

This is one of the rare posts where I know some back story. If he was trying to, he could have been got it in with this co-worker or any others years back. I doubt he has. I’d sooner file this one as Good Guys Go Dumb before I put it in the infidelity files.

]]> Comment on First Man Post Goes Down as an L by Ms. NB http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71&cpage=1#comment-25 Ms. NB Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:17:24 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=71#comment-25 Dear Deviant, A few guys could honestly make the mistake of being lead on by a 'hussy,' if you will, female co-worker. A majority of men know better but go anyways because they like attention. Attention is SO reinforcing that it can cause nice men to do stupid things, like this. Based on the way things progressed, from bike to bar, one can see that this hussy did not need help purchasing a bicycle. Most women don't need help buying mechanical things now a days with inventions such as the internet and novelties such as sales people. The hussy knew exactly what she was doing and I doubt your friend was a victim. You did not mention it in the recap, but I am sure by the time drink time came around, the flirting was blatantly obvious. You are right D, he fucked up from the get go, but he could be one of those few guys, but I doubt it. Hussy has probably been working it for weeks. Good guys know better but delude themselves into thinking its ok because they are just friends with the hussy knowing full well that if they even gave the hussy the right look, her clothes would disappear into thin air and a bed would appear in the same moment. If he needs attention he should get it from his wife or a platonic friend. Take up a hobby. I'm not saying a married man should never do anything alone with a hussy, but make sure its not in a private setting or offer your assistance by phone if you feel such an intense need to help hussies out. Shoot, he could have brought her some rope if it was because 'her car isn't big enough to hold the bike' story. He also fucked up because he agreed to call his wife the first time and she ended up calling him mid-drink with the hussy! I'm happy he told her what was up, but how could he expect her not to be mad? That's what probably tipped his wife over the edge; not the drink, but the not calling. He needs to stay away from this co-worker & figure out the real reason he felt the need to help this hussy co-worker out because its hard to believe he really thought she needed help with a bike. Sincerely, Ms. NB BTW D, I'm loving the 'psycho-lesbian-slut-whore' reference. ;) Dear Deviant,

A few guys could honestly make the mistake of being lead on by a ‘hussy,’ if you will, female co-worker. A majority of men know better but go anyways because they like attention. Attention is SO reinforcing that it can cause nice men to do stupid things, like this. Based on the way things progressed, from bike to bar, one can see that this hussy did not need help purchasing a bicycle. Most women don’t need help buying mechanical things now a days with inventions such as the internet and novelties such as sales people. The hussy knew exactly what she was doing and I doubt your friend was a victim. You did not mention it in the recap, but I am sure by the time drink time came around, the flirting was blatantly obvious.

You are right D, he fucked up from the get go, but he could be one of those few guys, but I doubt it. Hussy has probably been working it for weeks. Good guys know better but delude themselves into thinking its ok because they are just friends with the hussy knowing full well that if they even gave the hussy the right look, her clothes would disappear into thin air and a bed would appear in the same moment. If he needs attention he should get it from his wife or a platonic friend. Take up a hobby. I’m not saying a married man should never do anything alone with a hussy, but make sure its not in a private setting or offer your assistance by phone if you feel such an intense need to help hussies out. Shoot, he could have brought her some rope if it was because ‘her car isn’t big enough to hold the bike’ story.

He also fucked up because he agreed to call his wife the first time and she ended up calling him mid-drink with the hussy! I’m happy he told her what was up, but how could he expect her not to be mad? That’s what probably tipped his wife over the edge; not the drink, but the not calling.

He needs to stay away from this co-worker & figure out the real reason he felt the need to help this hussy co-worker out because its hard to believe he really thought she needed help with a bike.

Sincerely,

Ms. NB

BTW D, I’m loving the ‘psycho-lesbian-slut-whore’ reference. ;)

]]> Comment on Why, Why, Why? by lex uno judo sumo http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=55&cpage=1#comment-14 lex uno judo sumo Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:24:51 +0000 http://deardeviant.com/blog/?p=55#comment-14 thanks for this. i did not help one bit , but it was entertaining. thanks for this. i did not help one bit , but it was entertaining.

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