Archive for June, 2009
My Friend’s Friend is not being Friendly
Posted by Deviant in Advice, Uncategorized on June 29, 2009
Dear Deviant,
I have a friend that I started hanging out with and her best friend got jealous. Eventually I just stopped being nice and started reciprocating her behavior. One day the best friend got really immature and told her that she did not want to be friends anymore. So I wrote her and told her what an immature b*tch she was being and that no one was trying to steal her best friend. I really called her out on her behavior towards her best friend and towards me. She apologized and made up with our friend. So what’s the problem you ask? She is still being a B!tch. Not as hostile but her demeanor is still the same. It feels like she does not want me around. I am not backing down over something so immature. After the incident I started being my nice normal self again, but she is still acting cold; a little warmer, but still cold. Should I call her out again in person this time? Should I keep ignoring it and bring someone else around so that I have I have someone to make make me feel more comfortable when in the situation? Lately, if we are in a social setting and I feel her pulling for attention of our friend I usually go work the room. What do you think Deviant?
Annoyed ‘Friend’
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Annoyed ‘Friend,’
That was annoying. This evil friend-of-friend was acting immature, so you went off on her…..in an e-mail.
Where is your mutual friend during all of this cold behavior? Is she too cool to notice this bickering beef of bffs? Or does she realize that if she interjects, it is possible that all 3 of you will have to stand in the corner during recess and then go straight to nap time?
It feels like she does not want you around because she does not want you around. If your new friend (her best friend) does not care to act as a buffer between her two friends, perhaps she is not so friendly either. PLEASE do not bring someone else into this vicious triangle of Real Scenesters of Miami.
Play nice kiddies.
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
Call of the Wild
Dear Deviant:
Am I not as cute as I think I am? I just turned 29. Should my change jar start going to a derma-filler injection fund? When can I technically start calling myself a cougar?
-love,
ODD
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Oh ODD,
I had a friend who told me her prime was over at 19. She was unaware of Cougars and Cougar requirements, so I hipped her to game. As a fond admirer and beneficiary of the Cougar population, I sadly must inform you that you do not reach the requirements to be a Cougar.
No woman is as cute as she thinks she is. She is either no where near as hot as she perceives, or (and I think this is the most common case) is completely unaware of how truly Dangerously Beautiful she is (that’s not just a plug, its the truth!!).
If boys your age only want to play in your sandbox at their convenience, consider moving up to the older gents. They will have to dump you as you approach 29 1/2, but for the time in between, oh man, get that experience hunn. After all, experience and skills does a cougar make.
E-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
Buddy Lovin’ pt. 2
Dear Deviant:
How do you make clear to a guy that you do NOT want to be his sex buddy or his girlfriend without hurting his feelings yet still stay pals? Should I relate a gross or embarrassing story? Leave a turd spinning in my toilet bowl when he hangs out at my apartment?
-ODD
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ODD,
Why you would allow someone to put you out of your zone to the extent of not flushing your toilet is in a word: sad. In other words: bizarre, creepy, masochism, etc. Put your foot down. If feelings are hurt, that’s the way it is. Do you want such a trite friend anyway? Try saying this: “Dig Fam, let me be all the way 100: Somos amigos, you are not getting my panty-draws.” If that approach is a tad too brolic for you, notice of restraining order should communicate the same message effectively. While it will impede your budding friendship, from your description of the situation, court ordered distances were in the near future anyway.
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
What You Eat Don’t Make Me Sh*t
Dear Deviant,
I broke up with my ex over half a year ago and it was on whatever-to-bad terms. I have not run into him as of yet but I have a feeling I will because of a lot of events coming up. What should I do when I see him? Should I ignore him or wait to see if he ignores me? Should I just smile or go say hi? When we dated he had a lot of pride so I have no idea what to expect.
Snub OR Be Snubbed
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Whattup Snub,
One of the few reasons I use to rationalize why I’m qualified to field questions from you lovely readers is my varied life experiences, hence what I shall use to outline my answer to you now.
When I go for walks at the park I run into a number of other walkers and runners. I am quite used to people acting if I do not exist, and got used to being that way myself. However, I do not feel this is my true character. The worst part is when all those people that welcome me with a “Hello” and I am so unprepared that I half-answer as some sort of begrudged dullard.
You see Snubbie, you can’t let other people dictate who or how you are. I mean, you can, but….then you’d be Pinnochio in a dress. If it is in your nature to ignore him, then do your thing. If it is your true character to smile and touch base, then don’t let his prideful ways rob you of who you really are.
Ya dig?
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
Miss Independent
Dear Deviant,
Are some men put off by independent ladies? Do they take offense that some ladies have jobs and errands and outside interests? Do they interpret that as aloof-ness
ODD
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ODD,
Men rule the world, this is just how it is. However, women rule men. The average/typical guy is deathly afraid of independent women. Not all, but many (perhaps the majority? I cannot will not say) of men have hugely fragile egos, so any interest outside of “your man” is a grand offense. Sure, we will complain about the clingy girl who calls too much, but I don’t think you’re prepared for the aftermath of what would happen if said clingy girl called only a little less. Think Defcon 1.
Not only is having a life of your own considered aloofness, it is also grounds for seeking a side piece who is more into your guy. Fear not, these are characteristics of lame guys, which you should be avoiding by all means anyway. Find a live dude who realizes your time together is your time together and your time a part is your time a part.
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
Buddy Lovin’ pt. 1
Dear Deviant,
Lately I’ve been confounded by my relationships/friendships with a few guys. Then I realize that these questions are not uncommon, and I’m sick of thinking about them, so maybe you could answer them for me…?
So, Deviant:
1. What are the rules for sex buddies? Is there anything hard and fast I should know, or are the terms and conditions between each pair of friends as unique as the people initiating the relationship? Is there anything I’m missing? How difficult is it to find a man of character to do some shots with and screw not more than once per week? Is that an unreasonable request?
love,
ODD
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ODD,
There are plenty of rules for f*ck buddies, all of which a) you can find on the Internet and b) plainly spell out that there is no buddy in FB-ship, rather said person is more of an unpaid prostitute. If you’re writing me, it seems as though you are missing a lot (unless you sent this from your blackberry while in the sheets betwixt an FB intermission). The only thing hard and fast should be…that’s too easy (and only fast upon request, not fast because your FB’s 1-minute-o’-love is over). What are you really seeking? Requesting a man of “character” to screw you once a week is a completely unreasonable request. If you do not wish to delve into the roller-coaster world of a relationship AND only need it once a week, might I suggest an investment in a pet rabbit?
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
Get Like Me
Subject: Dear Deviant
smoothy deroboter wrote:
Dear Deviant,
i wanna be leet like u. can you make it happen?
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Smoothy,
No.
deuces,
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com