Dear Deviant,
Why is it always about what’s wrong with women? When do men have to worry about changing to make sure women approve? Why is everything about appealing to men’s desires and wishes? I think I’m going to swear off men and dating FOREVER. I’m sick of the games, the lies, the other women, the fear of commitment. MEN SUCK!!
-Pissed-off @ Men
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Dear P.A.M.,
Chile….I feel you. There is something about that XY match up that just hardwires for stupid, and I’m a guy (hetero to boot!). It is a male dominated patriarchal society/media/world in which women are expected to be big-busted, small-waist, and only interested in men’s interests. But, let’s take a detour from the man-bashing, only for a second.
I am often of the perspective that issues are not women things or men things, black things or white things, but people things. Honestly, people do not know what they want. Some women have their mega-lists (consider this an open call to e-mail me with your list…please…..please do it). Some men believe porno. Mostly, people are just scared or anxious about allowing themselves to be vulnerable to the whims of another, though it makes for such a great roller-coaster ride through life (have I used the roller coaster analogy before?).
You don’t want to swear off men, you want to get rid of the jerks, the a**holes, liars, cheaters, minute men and non-cunniliguist. True, this reduces your dating pool to Todd the 34y.o. accountant who lives with his mother and pet cat, but Todd may be empathetic and could be packing! Quiet as is kept, not all women are beams of sunshine or contributing members to a relationship as well. Even more quietly kept, not all women are good in bed (that has nothing to do with your issue though, I just wanted to let that snippy cat out of the bag).
However, if you are sincere about your interests in warding off men, might I recommend the lovely land of ladies? I must warn you, this will not reduce the games, lies, other women, or fear of commitment, but imagine all the money you’ll save when you take her out to ladies night!! Welcome to the team!
DeviantE-mail your love & advice questions to me@deardeviant.com
#1 by lex uno judo sumo on July 21st, 2009
thanks for this. i did not help one bit , but it was entertaining.